Walking alone on the streets of Accra, the incident of twenty years ago came running through my mind.

It was a sunny day and I was the only one at home when my friends; Akosua and Nene came to invite me to a night party. As if I knew what the result of the party was going to be, I rejected it totally, but they promised to come back on time, to always make sure we are together so that no one will face harm alone.

I agreed to follow them after much persuasion, but asked them to wait for the arrival of my parents so that I could seek their permission to attend the party.

At the party, we were always together until Nene’s boyfriend came and asked to take her to another side of the hall.

I and Akosua remained together until she began to blame me for dulling her moment. She said she would have been with her own boyfriend too if not that she was with me. She then stated to beg me to give Dumelo the guy who approached me at the entrance of the hall a chance to dance with me so that she can go and dance with her boyfriend too. I was surprised! All this while, I had been thinking that Akosua does not have a boyfriend because of the way she use to rebuke our other mates whenever they are talking about their boyfriends. I decided not to show my surprise but asked her to go on to her boyfriend.

Sitting alone on my sit watching  almost all the  ladies at the party; some were eating with their guys, others dancing, others chatting and giggling with their boyfriends, I felt ashamed of myself and several thought came to my mind; what are these people thinking about me? Local,  S.U or what? I then decided to join them on the dance floor; I knew if I dance alone for some time, someone would show interest and at least, dance with me to cover up my shame.

As if I was a prophet, Dumelo came right in time and we danced together. After the party, my friends asked me why I later decided to dance and I told them that I was ashamed of sitting alone. They later told me that everyone who came to that party came with a guy except me and that all the ladies in our school all have a boyfriend except me. I asked them how the information affects me and they said that I have been tagged S.U, the name I detest most. I hate to be called such names, especially when I know that I only go to church to satisfy my parents. I do not have anything to do with their Jesus or whatever.

Since the day my friends disclosed that name I have been looking for how to prove to them that I am not an S.U.

This devilish day, I decided to eat in a restaurant when a guy touched me from the back, when I looked back  and behold it was Dumelo, something jumped up in me because I was happy to meet him again.

Am sure you will wonder why I called the day I met Dumelo again a devilish day, when you meet someone , you may think it is the happiest day of your life like I also did but the turnout of events made me realized that day as a devilish day .As Dumelo sat right in front of me and was making pleasantries, I began to pray in my heart that he should just ask me out again , I have determined not to give it a second thought before saying (yes) and truly he did and that day opened a new chapter to my life.

Dumelo  was the type of guy every lady would pray to have; caring , loving , affectionate , considerate and what have you ?there was a time when I fell sick and the doctor told my parent that I needed blood . My father could not donate his blood because he is deformed, he suffered an injury during an accident and he now limps. All effort to get a donor to donate blood for me was futile.

When my friends came to visit me, they saw the condition I was and explained everything to Dumelo who I learnt was already worried about me. He came secretly to the hospital while my parents were not there, planned with the doctor and donated blood for me. Few months later I was discharge from the hospital, Dumelo could not come home to check on me but he usually send my friends to give me cards, provisions and letters , at times.

After the sickness when I went to Dumelo’s house he asked me for sex and I told him that I had not fully recovered for that and that I am not even ready to have sex now.  Dumelo became furious and asked why I even said (yes) to his proposal at first if I knew I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, I was surprised, annoyingly I took my bag and was about to dash out of his house when he called me and begged me, he later promised not to even ask of sex again in the relationship and I was happy for that.

I told my friends what transpired between me and Dumelo and they called me names and rebuke me they called me several names including been an ingrate that despite that Dumelo gave me blood while I was sick I still cannot make him happy just once, and I told them that Dumelo made had himself happy because while I was thanking him for donating blood for me, he said he purposely did it so that he will have his blood flowing in me and that would make him happy till eternity. My friends still insisted and I told them that was what I wanted and there is nothing anyone of them could do to it not even Dumelo himself.

I have now decided to be careful in going to Dumelo’s house and when I told him he agreed that we should always meet outside aside his house.

I went to club with my friends one day and I came back late, while we were going home, my friends suggested that we look for a place to pass the night because it was too late to go home.

We decided to pass the night at Dumelo’s house since he has three bedrooms flat to himself and we were all stranded to lodge in a hotel.

On getting to Dumelo’s house he insisted that I should sleep in his room if I trust him. I refused but when I saw the way the three of them were insisting on it I agreed because I knew I couldn’t win. and in order not to annoy my friends, moreover my friends were also there in the next room, so I agreed to sleep in his room.

In the middle of the night, I was already asleep when Dumelo came closer to me and before I knew what was happening he had raped me. While I was crying still laying there on the bed I asked Dumelo if he knew that he had just raped me he said no, I should wake up he had not rape me but made a woman out of me. In annoyance I got dressed and rushed out to explain what had happened to my friends, but I was astonished to meet them at the door laughing when told them what had happened they said “ oh girl welcome to the midst of ladies, you’re now a full grown lady.” I was surprised to know that they planned it with Dumelo.

When I got home I couldn’t tell my parents what had happened, in fact I had to lie to them that we slept off in Akosua’s house while reading and being a friend they like , they were not annoyed.

Hmmm! One sin leads to another, where did I get such a huge lie? As if I had been planning it before, well, I tried to forget what had happened and move on with my life. After some weeks I took ill and my parents decided to take me to the hospital on time.

“You will pack your load and leave this house, I cannot be taking care of you and your pregnancy and even a baby without a father? Never” this was the statement my daddy was repeating severally before he dashed to his room. My mum sat beside me and asked me how it happened I explained to her that it was a mistake. She asked who impregnated me and I told her it was Dumelo and how he also donated blood for me at the hospital. She was happy and decided to talk to my father. As she went upstairs I quickly phoned my friends to tell them about my pregnancy, they pitied me and asked me to wait for my parents’ conclusion.

My mother followed me to Dumelo’s house nut we met a big padlock at the gate. Luckily for me his neighbour who knew me saw us and came to us, I asked if he knew his where about and I was surprised to hear that Dumelo left Ghana since yesterday and had told his agent to sell off the house that he is relocating to another country.

When we got home, my parents insisted that I had an abortion because they are good Christians and they do not want tarnish on their image. I obeyed them despite my wish to keep the pregnancy.

After the abortion the doctor said I would not be able to have a child again because during the abortion my womb was damaged and it had totally been removed to save my life.

I cause the day I was born, the parents who gave birth to me, the day I met Dumelo and the angels of doom whom I call my friends. But the deed had been done.

Two years later, Nene came to my house, I was furious to see her, I felt like killing her but after much pleading I allowed her in. She then began like a witch in front of Gbodi the idol of our family to confess; how they planned with Dumelo to rape me, how they told me to run away before I got there with my mother because they were jealous that at last I will be Dumelo’s wife and how they introduced Dumelo to her ( Nene’s) cousin who he got married to and will soon give birth in Europe.

I couldn’t believe my ears so I pinched myself severally to wake up from my dreams, but no, it was real. Since Nene came to ask for forgiveness I found a reason to forgive her and the reason was Mensah. I just thought that what happened could be god’s way of telling me that Dumelo was not my husband.

Mensah remained my source of happiness until my parents called him one day and told him that if he wants to marry me he should do it with determination to live without a child because I cannot conceive again.

Mensah called me and told me straightaway what my parents told him and how he could not bear to live a childless life.

Who would I blame for my misfortunes? Obviously not Mensah but the God forsaken people that surround me.

While I was thinking about my life one day, the thought that has been disturbing my mind since I heard that Dumelo has come back with his wife and little son came and I decided not to give it a second thought the way I didn’t give it when I said ‘yes’ to his proposal.

On the news paper throughout the nation of Ghana especially the city of Accra is the headline; ’ GREAT SPELL JACKIE DESTROYED HALF OF GHANA’.

All those who read the news passed a lot of comment but I ran away from Ghana to Nigeria when I heard that I was wanted.

I have decided to come back now that the news had been forgotten and that no one will remember me again. But walking through the streets, everything came to my memory like an opened chapter. But even after killing Dumelo and his family, my friends and my parents, what my brain tells me is “ Jackie, you have learnt your lesson, always live your life the way you want it and not what others want” but my conscience says “ Jackie, if you die now will you make heaven?

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